This is part one of a two part article about the island of Hispaniola which includes the Dominican Republic and Haiti. The native language of the Dominican people is Spanish, thus the title is in Spanish. Since two of our Agree Two Disagree’s writers were on vacation in the Dominican Republic we decided to make an article based around a conversation via AOL Instant Messenger discussing parts of the trip. About four or five days into the trip I realized that if I was going to write about the trip I definitely had to take some notes. The memory gets a little foggy when you fill up on milk and cookies for a week. I will touch on little things (that’s what she said) that I had jotted down so there is no kind of order of what we are going to talk about. It’s not the most orthodox of articles, but then again I am not the most orthodox of writers. Enjoy….
BFox: ok, so what did you think about the driver down to the airport? My first memory of the entire trip is him telling the joke: What's the difference between your paycheck and your penis? Your wife will blow your paycheck.
Joe: That guy was pretty funny, I think he held back for most the trip and then we started to loosen him up.
BFox: I think he would have done anything to go with us. He picks us up @ 430am and we made his day...all day baby.
Joe: i think we did make his day... I guess seems like he was gonna go on a drinking binge after he dropped us off.. kinda wish I could brought that furry guy with us
BFox: Yeah, it was an interesting ride. As was the bus ride from the Punta Cana airport to the resort. I was glad that I had time to connect with my Asian brethren. That's when you found out I can speak Mandarin.
Joe: you lying bastard
BFox: You believed me though; I swear the guy said "These pretzels are making me thirsty"
Joe: because I respect you... I look at you as a crutch in my life... And you use that to make me believe you know mandarin... although i must say.. As I type this I’m laughing my ass off because it seemed so right "yeah, I know mandarin... they just said... These pretzels are making me thirsty"
BFox: Well I'm convinced that as long as you say something with conviction most people will believe you.
Joe: I believe that unless they have no trust in you
BFox: It makes it easier to lie for sport when you build trust. I think Gandhi said that.
Joe: hard to believe that was the bus ride to the resort
BFox: it was only the beginning.
Joe: we have no idea what was to come
BFox: I don't really remember what we did when we got there except I remember meeting the housekeeper, Osvaldo. I could have sworn he understood nothing I said, but sure enough when we got back to the room there was a huge bucket of ice.
Joe: that guy tried his hardest to communicate with us, like you said, I think he knew what we were saying, but he has that look I’m oh so familiar with... "HUH?" but he usually hooked us up pretty good; he was a good guy, one of the only good guys I met down there
BFox: I liked Donny and Rikers. Of course even though we saw him literally every day I do not for the life of me know what Rikers' name was.
Joe: Donny was a trip... Rikers I liked because he knew we had no intention of going anywhere but he always made time to come and bullshit with us... that means so much
BFox: well his whole story about how he used to hang out with Manny Ramirez when he lived in Washington Heights was a trip and made me feel better as a Yankee fan when he said going to the Red Sox made him a different person, not for the better. also, I think once he told us he was in Riker's Island for 8 years on kidnapping charges it was a foregone conclusion we were not going anywhere with him.
Joe: it was pretty funny considering we were about 6 drinks deep each. true, but you were the one that pointed out that it might be a reason to trust him, if he had any intention of doing anything he woulda kept that hush hush... I think he was legit. And I think the fact that he knew we were from NY he kinda looked at us a little different, I don’t know maybe not.
BFox: yeah, well he said something that struck me when Scott made a joke about it he said "oh that was a long time ago, I was young, and I’m 30 and have my head on straight now"
Joe: yeah well 8 years in the cell and deportation will do that
BFox: True…..so what was going through your head when Scott said that his father told him there was an earthquake in Haiti and we had a Tsunami watch?
Joe: I couldn't believe it... I was so drunk anyways I thought it was just a joke, and then I started getting texts and phone calls worrying about us. Kinda scary.
BFox: yeah, well I think the booze made me react like a white chick in a scary movie...I don't think it was too long before I convinced you it was a good idea to go swimming in the ocean in the dark, Tsunami surfers.
Joe: well swimming in the ocean was probably my number one highlight of that trip; leave it to us to figure out what NOT to do.
BFox: too me, one of the funniest parts was that I was breaking things constantly, I'm not normally the person who causes ruckus like that. None of it was intentional though. What did you think when that towel holder fell in the bathroom
Joe: hahhaha Scott and I thought you fell down hahahaha
BFox: that was the day I was sick so it wasn't entirely inconceivable. But who would have known the towel holder would have a 2 towel limit.
Joe: yeah but our housekeeper put it back on the wall and stronger than ever.
BFox: That’s what I’m saying, Osvaldo was the man. So that day we were sick was kind of a funny completely lazy day. I remember waking up to a wet bed, but luckily realizing it was because I still had my bathing suit on. That was a long day, hours and hours of boozing and sun and water. You have to tell me all the stuff Scott did cuz I was in the pool playing volleyball with those chicks that were also from NY, but originally from down there.
Joe: well Scott fell asleep on the chair, when he woke up he started stumbling around. He walked over to a wooden pole sticking out of the ground leaning on it and said I need to go to the room to piss. So as I got up to guide him over to the room I see a steady stream of liquid rolling down his leg and him giggling like a little kid…it was pretty funny. he then decided to walk around the area around the pool fell in a puddle of mud, and I honestly thought he s*** himself. Then he hopped in and cleaned himself in the pool.
BFox: haha, well I missed it, I'm aquaman, I think I had to be kicked out of the pool numerous times after it was closed. Getting kicked out was the last thing I remembered until waking up in my wet bathing suit.
Joe: yeah hhahaha
BFox: so those girls that I was playing volleyball with, I think they may have been whores, in the business sense that is.
Joe: oh yeah, they def were.
BFox: well it wasn’t as obvious as the next night. You and I sitting there and I nudge you to say “I think they want the Wang.” So then she kept looking @ us and then her friend came over. That’s when I said “I think they are working” and you agreed. Then the girl rolled her tongue at me.
Joe: I wish I saw her do that, I would have said something. I really wish I could have surprised them and said something in their language.
BFox: yeah, she didn’t speak a lick (pardon the pun) of English, but when I saw her later she knew how to say “you want to party? Sex? Sucky sucky?”
Joe: I still wonder how much?
BFox: me too, I politely declined since I had no intention of paying for it. Funny thing is, whenever I tell that story people always ask me how much and I wish I knew.
Joe: well you probably come away with a souvenir
BFox: I would have been on antibiotics for way more than my stomach when I came back
Joe: You would have had to use steel wool my friend, “that ooze doesn’t stop.”
BFox: Ewww, that sounds horrible. I forgot about when I told Scott that he asked to put it in that girl’s caboose.
Joe: you lying bastard.
BFox: I had him convinced and scared to see her again and it was so believable cause that was the day he was rolling around the mud. I completely made that up. Remember that guy who’s saying was “Don’t drink and drive, smoke and fly. Then his immediate next line was, you want some yayo?”
Joe: haha yeah.
BFox: I made you into a wine drinker on that trip too.
Joe: I can’t get enough, it’s delish.
BFox: We got hammered that first night we drank wine and met those Canadian Minnesota Viking fans.
Joe: “AAAAAA, did you charter a plane?” Like we were high rollers.
BFox: haha, yeah I can’t believe they thought we chartered a plane, I must have been drunk I could have ran with that lie.
Joe: yeah we could have had fun with that. That was the night I spilled wine all over myself and we saw that Michael Jackson tribute.
BFox: yeah, that was good, the backup dancers were amazing and the dude was a really good Michael Jackson impersonator.
Joe: agreed.
BFox: I remember walking up to the room hammered and I said "I'm extremely inebriated" you were like" even drunk he uses his vocabulary"
Joe: yeah walking up the stairs, haha.
BFox: one of the worst things was no NFC playoffs on tv and no bball on MLK Day. Funny thing was you guys wished me a Happy MLK day and I said thank you.
Joe: we see you as our black brotha, lol. What about the day we just got drunk all day and watched tv, that was one of the most fun and relaxing days I’ve had.
BFox: That was the day you said “I don’t know how you do it, Henny to wine, then back to Henny?” I said “this is how it’s done” as I tipped my glass. That really was a great day.
Joe: if not for our stomachs it would have been perfect. That and Scott’s ass.
BFox: haha, yeah about 5am I wake up just in time to hear him fart and you say “Your ass is crazy.” That was so funny I was laughing so hard in my head, but was in the middle of sleeping.
Joe: He was bad, well I was too.
BFox: That room could have been a biohazard between the two of you. Outside of the bad stomachs it was a great trip. It was beautiful there.
Joe: It was.
BFox: ok, so what did you think about the driver down to the airport? My first memory of the entire trip is him telling the joke: What's the difference between your paycheck and your penis? Your wife will blow your paycheck.
Joe: That guy was pretty funny, I think he held back for most the trip and then we started to loosen him up.
BFox: I think he would have done anything to go with us. He picks us up @ 430am and we made his day...all day baby.
Joe: i think we did make his day... I guess seems like he was gonna go on a drinking binge after he dropped us off.. kinda wish I could brought that furry guy with us
BFox: Yeah, it was an interesting ride. As was the bus ride from the Punta Cana airport to the resort. I was glad that I had time to connect with my Asian brethren. That's when you found out I can speak Mandarin.
Joe: you lying bastard
BFox: You believed me though; I swear the guy said "These pretzels are making me thirsty"
Joe: because I respect you... I look at you as a crutch in my life... And you use that to make me believe you know mandarin... although i must say.. As I type this I’m laughing my ass off because it seemed so right "yeah, I know mandarin... they just said... These pretzels are making me thirsty"
BFox: Well I'm convinced that as long as you say something with conviction most people will believe you.
Joe: I believe that unless they have no trust in you
BFox: It makes it easier to lie for sport when you build trust. I think Gandhi said that.
Joe: hard to believe that was the bus ride to the resort
BFox: it was only the beginning.
Joe: we have no idea what was to come
BFox: I don't really remember what we did when we got there except I remember meeting the housekeeper, Osvaldo. I could have sworn he understood nothing I said, but sure enough when we got back to the room there was a huge bucket of ice.
Joe: that guy tried his hardest to communicate with us, like you said, I think he knew what we were saying, but he has that look I’m oh so familiar with... "HUH?" but he usually hooked us up pretty good; he was a good guy, one of the only good guys I met down there
BFox: I liked Donny and Rikers. Of course even though we saw him literally every day I do not for the life of me know what Rikers' name was.
Joe: Donny was a trip... Rikers I liked because he knew we had no intention of going anywhere but he always made time to come and bullshit with us... that means so much
BFox: well his whole story about how he used to hang out with Manny Ramirez when he lived in Washington Heights was a trip and made me feel better as a Yankee fan when he said going to the Red Sox made him a different person, not for the better. also, I think once he told us he was in Riker's Island for 8 years on kidnapping charges it was a foregone conclusion we were not going anywhere with him.
Joe: it was pretty funny considering we were about 6 drinks deep each. true, but you were the one that pointed out that it might be a reason to trust him, if he had any intention of doing anything he woulda kept that hush hush... I think he was legit. And I think the fact that he knew we were from NY he kinda looked at us a little different, I don’t know maybe not.
BFox: yeah, well he said something that struck me when Scott made a joke about it he said "oh that was a long time ago, I was young, and I’m 30 and have my head on straight now"
Joe: yeah well 8 years in the cell and deportation will do that
BFox: True…..so what was going through your head when Scott said that his father told him there was an earthquake in Haiti and we had a Tsunami watch?
Joe: I couldn't believe it... I was so drunk anyways I thought it was just a joke, and then I started getting texts and phone calls worrying about us. Kinda scary.
BFox: yeah, well I think the booze made me react like a white chick in a scary movie...I don't think it was too long before I convinced you it was a good idea to go swimming in the ocean in the dark, Tsunami surfers.
Joe: well swimming in the ocean was probably my number one highlight of that trip; leave it to us to figure out what NOT to do.
BFox: too me, one of the funniest parts was that I was breaking things constantly, I'm not normally the person who causes ruckus like that. None of it was intentional though. What did you think when that towel holder fell in the bathroom
Joe: hahhaha Scott and I thought you fell down hahahaha
BFox: that was the day I was sick so it wasn't entirely inconceivable. But who would have known the towel holder would have a 2 towel limit.
Joe: yeah but our housekeeper put it back on the wall and stronger than ever.
BFox: That’s what I’m saying, Osvaldo was the man. So that day we were sick was kind of a funny completely lazy day. I remember waking up to a wet bed, but luckily realizing it was because I still had my bathing suit on. That was a long day, hours and hours of boozing and sun and water. You have to tell me all the stuff Scott did cuz I was in the pool playing volleyball with those chicks that were also from NY, but originally from down there.
Joe: well Scott fell asleep on the chair, when he woke up he started stumbling around. He walked over to a wooden pole sticking out of the ground leaning on it and said I need to go to the room to piss. So as I got up to guide him over to the room I see a steady stream of liquid rolling down his leg and him giggling like a little kid…it was pretty funny. he then decided to walk around the area around the pool fell in a puddle of mud, and I honestly thought he s*** himself. Then he hopped in and cleaned himself in the pool.
BFox: haha, well I missed it, I'm aquaman, I think I had to be kicked out of the pool numerous times after it was closed. Getting kicked out was the last thing I remembered until waking up in my wet bathing suit.
Joe: yeah hhahaha
BFox: so those girls that I was playing volleyball with, I think they may have been whores, in the business sense that is.
Joe: oh yeah, they def were.
BFox: well it wasn’t as obvious as the next night. You and I sitting there and I nudge you to say “I think they want the Wang.” So then she kept looking @ us and then her friend came over. That’s when I said “I think they are working” and you agreed. Then the girl rolled her tongue at me.
Joe: I wish I saw her do that, I would have said something. I really wish I could have surprised them and said something in their language.
BFox: yeah, she didn’t speak a lick (pardon the pun) of English, but when I saw her later she knew how to say “you want to party? Sex? Sucky sucky?”
Joe: I still wonder how much?
BFox: me too, I politely declined since I had no intention of paying for it. Funny thing is, whenever I tell that story people always ask me how much and I wish I knew.
Joe: well you probably come away with a souvenir
BFox: I would have been on antibiotics for way more than my stomach when I came back
Joe: You would have had to use steel wool my friend, “that ooze doesn’t stop.”
BFox: Ewww, that sounds horrible. I forgot about when I told Scott that he asked to put it in that girl’s caboose.
Joe: you lying bastard.
BFox: I had him convinced and scared to see her again and it was so believable cause that was the day he was rolling around the mud. I completely made that up. Remember that guy who’s saying was “Don’t drink and drive, smoke and fly. Then his immediate next line was, you want some yayo?”
Joe: haha yeah.
BFox: I made you into a wine drinker on that trip too.
Joe: I can’t get enough, it’s delish.
BFox: We got hammered that first night we drank wine and met those Canadian Minnesota Viking fans.
Joe: “AAAAAA, did you charter a plane?” Like we were high rollers.
BFox: haha, yeah I can’t believe they thought we chartered a plane, I must have been drunk I could have ran with that lie.
Joe: yeah we could have had fun with that. That was the night I spilled wine all over myself and we saw that Michael Jackson tribute.
BFox: yeah, that was good, the backup dancers were amazing and the dude was a really good Michael Jackson impersonator.
Joe: agreed.
BFox: I remember walking up to the room hammered and I said "I'm extremely inebriated" you were like" even drunk he uses his vocabulary"
Joe: yeah walking up the stairs, haha.
BFox: one of the worst things was no NFC playoffs on tv and no bball on MLK Day. Funny thing was you guys wished me a Happy MLK day and I said thank you.
Joe: we see you as our black brotha, lol. What about the day we just got drunk all day and watched tv, that was one of the most fun and relaxing days I’ve had.
BFox: That was the day you said “I don’t know how you do it, Henny to wine, then back to Henny?” I said “this is how it’s done” as I tipped my glass. That really was a great day.
Joe: if not for our stomachs it would have been perfect. That and Scott’s ass.
BFox: haha, yeah about 5am I wake up just in time to hear him fart and you say “Your ass is crazy.” That was so funny I was laughing so hard in my head, but was in the middle of sleeping.
Joe: He was bad, well I was too.
BFox: That room could have been a biohazard between the two of you. Outside of the bad stomachs it was a great trip. It was beautiful there.
Joe: It was.
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